Homosexual Marriage: Clear Thinking on a Charged Issue

HERE'S HOW I DEFEND THE TRADITIONAL DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE:

Me: "From now on, just call me 'doctor'."

You: "But you're not a doctor."

Me: "Yes, I know. But I want to be treated like I actually was a doctor."

You: "You mean, see patients and prescribe medicine?"

Me: "Of course; that's what being a doctor is."

You: "But you aren't a doctor! And acting like one is going to get people . . . well . . . killed!"

Me: "I don't care. I want to be a doctor. I want to be looked up to by the public, get the good parking spaces, and wear that white coat with that black thingy hanging around my neck that hears the heartbeat."

You: "Well, we can't allow you to do that. It would be too dangerous. The State has an obligation to prevent people from pretending to be doctors."

Me: "Why? It's none of the State's business. It's just me and my patients. The State has no right to interfere with our "union."

You: (exasperated) "The State has not only the right to interfere with you, it has an obligation to do so in order to protect society."

Me: "I don't care about society--I just want to be a doctor!"

* * *

You get the idea: The State has an interest in the traditional family, which has been the basic building block of civilization for over ten thousand years. Therefore, traditional families should be encouraged as much as possible because they are inarguably the best place to raise children, which results in a stable, constructive society. To that end, I also think we should outlaw "no fault" divorce; otherwise we're being hypocritical as not fully supporting the traditional, intact family with both a father and a mother present in the home.

All other rights between homosexual couples should accrue--no reasonable voice on the right is advocating anything less--but the traditional notion of marriage should be reserved for traditional unions, as a way of giving the imprimatur of the State to its most cherished and important pillar. Otherwise we're Rome apres Caligula.. . .

But I have nothing against gays being chiropractors!