Iraqi WMDs: The Proof (II)

WITH THE EXISTENCE of WMDs established beyond controversy, still the question remains: If Saddam had WMDs, why didn't we find any after the invasion of Iraq?

This is where we access the best evidence of all: our own logic circuit. Saddam was a tyrant who ruled his country (quelling the internecine quarrels with which we are all so familiar now) with totalitarian efficiency and cruelty. Dissent was quashed, those speaking against his tyranny disappeared, and neighbors were encouraged to spy on neighbors. In such a world, it would be easy to hide evidence, hide the perpetrators, hide the murders, and hide the mass graves. (Except we've found a few of these, haven't we?)

But even so, it's hard to imagine an entire country being completely emptied out of WMDs by the time we got there. OK, here's where logic kicks in: Suppose you have a 15-year-old son whom you suspect of doing drugs. One day you poke your head into his disheveled room and announce, "All right: in two weeks I'm going to turn this room upside down, and if I find any drugs in here, you're in big trouble, mister!"

Now, do you really think you'll discover anything incriminating in that room two weeks from now? Of course not. Your son might be a druggie, but he is not stupid. Neither was Saddam.

Now imagine your son's room is the size of California, and has doors to his doper-buddies' rooms: Syria, Jordan, Iran. Your son doesn't want to destroy his drugs; he likes them. So he's going to move them elsewhere. So, while you're ticking off the days on the kitchen calendar until your inspection begins, he's quietly moving those drugs into his friends' rooms where he can still get to them when he wants to get high.

This, of course, is precisely what Saddam probably did. His allies received his "drug" cache in return for payment or threats.

"But," you ask, "why hasn't anyone squealed on him? Is there truly honor among thieves?"

During the Egyptian Empire (3100 - 300 B.C.), the pharaohs, obsessed with living as well in the afterlife as they did in mortality, filled their tombs with food, creature comforts, and even facsimilies of chariots and riverboats. Some even had their own servants murdered and buried with them! So why wouldn't Saddam Hussein send a convoy of WMDs out into the seemingly endless Iraqi desert, bury the offending weapons, and then order that everyone involved be shot and quietly buried with them? Is this something you cannot imagine him doing?

The reason we didn't find WMDs in Iraq is because of we gave him ample time to hide the evidence. In addition, the half-hearted and ineffective U.N. inspection regime wasn't designed to find anything anyway. The United Nations has devolved into an anti-American cabal of leftists tinpot dictators, many of whom aspire to the cruelty and barbarism of Saddam Hussein. And the impotent powers of the west, represented by the ineffective and feckless Hans Blix, no more wanted to find WMDs than did his third-world cheer leading squad.

We gave Saddam years to prepare for our invasion, and he did what any drug-addled 15-year-old kid would do: he hid the evidence.

And if you cannot see this logic, I can only say, "You are smoking your own stash, man!"

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